Category: Society

Being Married is just a “State of Mind” !


I am of the belief that the concept of “Marriage” as a social institution, is slowly fading, and in next 20years, it could be an extinct theory. While I mention the word marriage , I refer to its conventional meaning as the legally or formally recognized union of a man and a woman as partners in a relationship. Marriage is conventionally associated with an appropriate age, gender, sex, ceremonies etc. But as I see it, Marriages are beyond these rules and rituals. Being married to someone is a state of mind.

Society expects one to get married under a particular age bracket, even if the person is yet to find a soulmate. Else, they are either coerced or influenced to put with someone (to an opposite gender only), who is atleast “Suitable” under respective societal norms. Marriages are also considered as an societal permit to have sex and henceforth a societal responsibility to reproduce the next generation. And thus many fall into the customary trap built-in through family and peers. Resultant is a huge expansive event ceremony, largely enjoyed and celebrated by the non-protagnists.

I believe, marriage is an emotional connect between two human beings irrespective of any boundaries. One comes across a person with whom he/she chooses to devote their part of life. Marriage is imbibed subconsciously when one feels and performs love, care and respect towards his/her soulmate. The great “Meera bai” was married to “Lord Krishna” and it breaks all marriage myths. The legend of Radha -Krishna was beyond any ceremonial barriers. Most love fables have not resulted in actual wedlock yet no one can disagree of them being not mentally married. Many of today’s generation are moving into Live-In relationships irrespective of when or if they want to get ceremonially married. Their are those, who are into “being married” mode as soon as they propose to their soulmates even before any form of ceremonial wedding. And I also know many, who have shared their lifetime together and are yet not being emotionally wedded to each other. Marriages don’t and shouldn’t be driven by societal norms but should be purely out of love.

Also, marriage is not compulsorily a bond for life. During a relationship, after all genuine efforts, if incompatibility grows into valley of sorrows, the mind itself call it quits. No ceremonial or legal vows can reignite the feeling of being married.

Thus, I hope the society today liberates itself from the strings of existing marriage norms. It is time, parents should stop shoving marriage into their children’s life. Parents and families must allow and trust the younger ones to wait for their time. With no strings attached, sooner or later they would be emotionally connected with someone. As marriage driven by love, is a beautiful phenomena and it will not let anyone seep through it. “Being married – The state of mind” may slowly but surely, would occur atleast once in everyone’s lifetime.

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An Apology Letter from Salman Khan!


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Dear Fellow Indians,

Last few days have been quite eventful,thanks to a completely avoidable silly tweet of mine. Being a celebrated actor whose each and every action impact a billion people, I should have been much more responsible while comparing my physical pain with one off a rape victim. I do believe that no pain in the world can even be close to the physical and mental trauma of a rape victim. My sincere apologies to one and all for my casual and irresponsible remark.
Kindly forgive and forget.

Meanwhile, I also do apologise on behalf of my silly fans and supporters, for making ridiculous statements, just to be on my side. Also I should have apologized immediately as soon as the issue blew out of proportion. But as you know, the “Boy” in me had been pushing me towards plenty of irresponsible acts (even in the past). It also disallows me to crush my inflated ego and delays any realisation. Looks like my journey from being a “Boy” to a “Man” is never-ending.

But trust me, it’s not only me at fault. Men across ages and regions do funnily and casually refer to “rape” in their daily conversations without realising the gravity of it. I am just “Being Human” and one of them, though with lakhs of followers. Also I wish, an equivocal protest and action should had been taken against Politicians for making similar irresponsible statements in the past. Being administrators and leaders, they hold larger responsibility and have farther impact of their preposterous statements, thus stricter action. But as always,we from the Film Industry have always been the soft targets.

Also I hope, News channels could do more fact-finding news reports for their prime-time slots than debating a silly tweet of mine. Or I am unaware, if all the other issues of common men have been resolved.

Nevertheless, nothing justifies my inhumane tweet. Will be more careful next time.

Sincerely,
Salman Khan.

(I just hope the real Salman Khan, copy-pastes it, owns the mistake and readily uses this Apology Letter to resolve the controversy.)

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Islam, Where are your Role Models?


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Every now and then, a terror attack is reported, and newspapers flash names of organizations like Al-Qaeda, ISIS, Boko-Haram, Taliban, Lashkar-e-Taiba, Jamaat-ud-dawaa and many more. After every Peshawar, Mumbai, 9/11, Charlie Hebdo etc., wherever and whenever Islam is discussed, I see only stories of despair and pessimism. Thanks to “Messiahs of Terrorism” like Laden, Kasab, Hafiz Saeed, Dawood etc. who are discussed with disgust every nook and corner of the world. Meanwhile, every philosophy which has villains must have heroes too. But here’s my question to every Muslim, where are your role models?

Muslims, followers of Islam as faith are going through internal conflicts and social turbulence. Amongst wide-spread fear and hatred, through killing humanity and dissent, these terrorists are defaming the religion by calling themselves Muslims (also architect of Sufism philosophy). An average Muslim ends up proving and convincing others, its loyalty to the country and commitment to non-violence! One commits a heinous crime and millions face the brunt by being tagged as terrorists too! But if an average Muslim kid wants to follow the paths of any living role model in your faith, who are they? I am sure Ladens of the world aren’t. Where are those heroes, who can inspire millions to be like them? Where are your living legends, whose action ignites optimism and hope? Where are your Mahatma Gandhis, Martin Luther Kings, Lincolns and Mandelas? Where are your Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Sachins and Federers? If there are any, this is the time for them to be counted! If they aren’t any, it’s time to build one and many!

I believe that behind this dearth of modern Muslim heroes, is lack of education. More the education seeps into the each and every member of this faith, more and more success stories would emerge. On a global platform, I can see Malala in the making of a role model for Muslim young women! Another reason I believe, is minimal participation of Muslim Scholars in public and political space. It’s time for the educated Muslims to jump into the political foray and create name and fame. It’s time for them to step up and be the torch-bearers of Muslim faith. So that no more Hate-ranter Owasis, Fatwa-generators Imams and terrorist organizations of the world can claim to be your leaders.

Indian sub-continent is still lucky to have local role-models in the past and present, though very few! We had greats across the era like Maulana Azad, Ashfaqullah Khan, Azim Premji, Yusuf Hamied (Cipla) and Dr. APJ Kalam etc., whose stories still inspire many. From glitterati world, we have AR Rahman and Aamir Khan, who have been and can be change-agents, thanks to their body of work and popularity. At present, Indian political space is crying to have popular, good and statesman like leaders from Islam.

Finally, hope this message reaches especially to the Arab world! Remember, until new global role models don’t emerge from the shackles of conservatism; until new heroes don’t spread their reformist vision in the public space, sadly (and unjustifiably) till then, Islam would remain tagged as a fundamentalist and a terrorist-breeding religion!

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“Love Jihad”… A step backwards !


Marriages, beyond the ethnic boundaries, were a huge social stigma, in India. A decade earlier, inter-caste and inter-culture marriages were a big no-no; inter-religion marriages were considered blasphemy. Although the laws permit such marriages, yet majority youths of this country were under such extreme social duress, that they didn’t even dare to think about the opposite-sex of different ethnicity. Arranged marriages obeyed sheepishly such unwritten social commandments; love-marriages reluctantly tend to expand the horizon. But with education, travel, globalization and prosperity, the mindsets evolved, and hence love marriages between different caste, cultures and religions were now more acceptable. Our Indian society, although very slowly, was ambling towards anti-endogamy by breaking the social and religious shackles.

But then, bigotries leeched on to our evolving social wisdom, and coined the word “Love-Jihad”. Religious extremists venomously used it as hiring followers and attrition management tool. Media naively shared it, discussed it. Political parties tried scoring points by using it as vote-hoarding tool. And the progression of social evolution was pushed into coma. With the fear of family and relationships being bruised, in this communal crossfire, now every Hindu-Muslim Love-story, would be reassessing its future. Now no more a Muslim boy will dare to ask a Hindu girl out on date. Now no Muslim girl will say yes to Hindu boy’s proposal. Now again, “The Cupid” or “The Kaamdev” has to be selective before any love-infused match-making. Now no family would allow their children to have inter-religion marriage. Even if young couples would dare to go against it, if not the family, the religious extremists may kill them in the name of honor.

It took us ages for our society to gift freedom to newer generations of choosing their soulmates from any ethnicity, but it took only one chapter called Love-Jihad, to take us back to medievalism.

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Proud of Your Religion! But Why?


I have always been keen to dwell into the mind-set of anyone, who says, I am a proud Hindu, Muslim or Christian etc.! Most of us haven’t chosen our religion and were just destined to born into one. Moreover, it’s our parents and people around us who train us to follow a particular faith, again not by choice but destiny.

The counter-argument I have received is, that one should be proud of our parents, country and by extending the logic, religion too. Yes, we were just destined to born into our families and country, like our religion. But, unlike one’s particular religion, our parents and country nurtured our childhood. Parents through sacrifices groomed us with values, and the country through governance facilitated us with infrastructure. Religion prospers nobody, as Parents and Country does!

Then, people would argue, that the religion helps us learn values through spirituality. But then, every religion does the same! Then why gratification towards a particular religion, and calling oneself a “Proud Hindu” or “Proud Muslim” etc.?

Also, if anyone considers his/her religion superior to others (basis mythology and history), then that’s sheer communalism. One cannot be both “Proud Hindu / Muslim” and “Secular”. Such non-pluralistic views can be scary for a secular democracy.

Every religion preaches similar morals and principals, and each one of us should respect all religions!

Thus, are you proud of religion? But Why?

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