Life

Being Married is just a “State of Mind” !


I am of the belief that the concept of “Marriage” as a social institution, is slowly fading, and in next 20years, it could be an extinct theory. While I mention the word marriage , I refer to its conventional meaning as the legally or formally recognized union of a man and a woman as partners in a relationship. Marriage is conventionally associated with an appropriate age, gender, sex, ceremonies etc. But as I see it, Marriages are beyond these rules and rituals. Being married to someone is a state of mind.

Society expects one to get married under a particular age bracket, even if the person is yet to find a soulmate. Else, they are either coerced or influenced to put with someone (to an opposite gender only), who is atleast “Suitable” under respective societal norms. Marriages are also considered as an societal permit to have sex and henceforth a societal responsibility to reproduce the next generation. And thus many fall into the customary trap built-in through family and peers. Resultant is a huge expansive event ceremony, largely enjoyed and celebrated by the non-protagnists.

I believe, marriage is an emotional connect between two human beings irrespective of any boundaries. One comes across a person with whom he/she chooses to devote their part of life. Marriage is imbibed subconsciously when one feels and performs love, care and respect towards his/her soulmate. The great “Meera bai” was married to “Lord Krishna” and it breaks all marriage myths. The legend of Radha -Krishna was beyond any ceremonial barriers. Most love fables have not resulted in actual wedlock yet no one can disagree of them being not mentally married. Many of today’s generation are moving into Live-In relationships irrespective of when or if they want to get ceremonially married. Their are those, who are into “being married” mode as soon as they propose to their soulmates even before any form of ceremonial wedding. And I also know many, who have shared their lifetime together and are yet not being emotionally wedded to each other. Marriages don’t and shouldn’t be driven by societal norms but should be purely out of love.

Also, marriage is not compulsorily a bond for life. During a relationship, after all genuine efforts, if incompatibility grows into valley of sorrows, the mind itself call it quits. No ceremonial or legal vows can reignite the feeling of being married.

Thus, I hope the society today liberates itself from the strings of existing marriage norms. It is time, parents should stop shoving marriage into their children’s life. Parents and families must allow and trust the younger ones to wait for their time. With no strings attached, sooner or later they would be emotionally connected with someone. As marriage driven by love, is a beautiful phenomena and it will not let anyone seep through it. “Being married – The state of mind” may slowly but surely, would occur atleast once in everyone’s lifetime.

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Nisha, Cousins and Daadi !


Our “Idiot Box” is dumped with cloned “Daily Soap Operas”, which are cliched to the core with zero originality and all been framed in one “Saas-Bahu-Husband” format. Midst all these rubbishy-stuff, “Nisha Aur Uske Cousins” at Star Plus, is a stand-out. This youthful family drama, stirred with all emotions, is setting up new creative benchmarks on Indian television. nisha

Since “Shanti” and “Swabhimaan“, followed by “Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi” and “Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki” (although regressive yet original considering those days), Indian Television’s “Daily Soap Opera” format has been a dead rubber. Though there were few like “Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahi“, which were fresh and different yet they were extremely rare.

Although being a “Producer’s medium”, “Nisha aur Uske Cousins” scores highly on its lifelike screenplay and witty dialogues. But where the ace lies, is in its realistic, well- sketched and layered characters. “Nisha”, the tom-boyish girl, represents the third-generation of the “Gangwal Family”, a Jain joint-family in Jaipur, headed by strict and orthodox “Dadaji” !

Nisha and her cousins, “Umesh” an aspiring cook, “Kirti” the fashion queen, “Dolly” the shopaholic, “Suketu” the stud, “Jwala” the studious, and “Bunty” the kiddo, hold a strong bond among themselves. Midst the family fun and frolic, series of conflicts arise, triggered due to varied opinions of the 3 generations, with Nisha being the cynosure of most of them.

Nisha, like her loveable father, “Ramesh” (Vivek Mushran), understands the importance of togetherness. She always tend to go out of her way to help selflessly in cousin’s problems and solve family tussles. Beyond Ramesh, “Daadi” (my favorite character”) values this trait of Nisha, and thus always support her, unlike other elders. “Nisha aur Uske Cousins” thus is not only entertaining and emotional, but also helps align our moral compasses. Unlike all other currently running television programs, only this show oozes with positivity and happiness.

I hope other television channels and producers take a cue from this soap opera and try upgrading our “Idiot Box” to “Entertainment Box”. Its high time, our television producers to stop considering Indian audiences dumb, and start catering some high quality and varied-genre enabled television entertainment.

“Love Jihad”… A step backwards !


Marriages, beyond the ethnic boundaries, were a huge social stigma, in India. A decade earlier, inter-caste and inter-culture marriages were a big no-no; inter-religion marriages were considered blasphemy. Although the laws permit such marriages, yet majority youths of this country were under such extreme social duress, that they didn’t even dare to think about the opposite-sex of different ethnicity. Arranged marriages obeyed sheepishly such unwritten social commandments; love-marriages reluctantly tend to expand the horizon. But with education, travel, globalization and prosperity, the mindsets evolved, and hence love marriages between different caste, cultures and religions were now more acceptable. Our Indian society, although very slowly, was ambling towards anti-endogamy by breaking the social and religious shackles.

But then, bigotries leeched on to our evolving social wisdom, and coined the word “Love-Jihad”. Religious extremists venomously used it as hiring followers and attrition management tool. Media naively shared it, discussed it. Political parties tried scoring points by using it as vote-hoarding tool. And the progression of social evolution was pushed into coma. With the fear of family and relationships being bruised, in this communal crossfire, now every Hindu-Muslim Love-story, would be reassessing its future. Now no more a Muslim boy will dare to ask a Hindu girl out on date. Now no Muslim girl will say yes to Hindu boy’s proposal. Now again, “The Cupid” or “The Kaamdev” has to be selective before any love-infused match-making. Now no family would allow their children to have inter-religion marriage. Even if young couples would dare to go against it, if not the family, the religious extremists may kill them in the name of honor.

It took us ages for our society to gift freedom to newer generations of choosing their soulmates from any ethnicity, but it took only one chapter called Love-Jihad, to take us back to medievalism.

Halo (Movie) : More Than Meets The Eye !


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I am pretty sure, that not many would have heard of this Hindi movie “Halo” ! Instead many would relate Halo with a video game. Meanwhile, Halo movie, directed by Santosh Sivan (a genius cinematographer), won National award for the “Best Children’s Movie”, yet went unnoticed by the mainstream audiences. This 1996 movie, now rarely gets featured on TV (only on DD National), is stitched to my memory, frame by frame. Halo , now very close to my heart, inspires me every-time. The movie allows me to relive the childlike goodness, we all used to once possess.

The movie is about a young girl “Sasha”, who finds herself lonely after her mother’s death. To her rescue, comes a dog “Halo”, who becomes her God-sent best-friend. Her life now revolves around it. She sleeps, she drinks, she eats with it. But one day, she finds Halo missing, and here starts her quest to find Halo. In the backdrop of Hindu-Muslim riots in Mumbai, and with the help of weird friends and supporting characters, the movie depicts Sasha’s brave and spirited pursuit of finding Halo, her ultimate happiness.

Although, stuck in old-times, story-telling may test your patience, but I will still recommend it to everyone, especially kids. Again, rather saying much, one should watch it to experience it, though I am sure that it will touch hidden chords of one’s stoned heart.

 

बदलाव की आंधी !


आजकल बदलाव की आंधी है,
फै़ली अधीरता की माहामारी है !
सुना है कि अब लोग,
कपड़ों की तरह, किरदार बदल देते हैं!

आवा़म में बेमियादी बेसब्री का आलम है,
कि पाँच सालों में ही बोर होके,
हम अच्छी-बुरी सरकार बदल देते हैं!

ख़ूब सुहावने दिखते हैं, परदेस के ढोल,
कि अब तो उपलब्धि मान के,
देशभक्त भी, अपनी पहचान बदल देते हैं !

ऊँच-नीच के फ़ेर में पड़के,
बेमेल रुतबे के ख़ातिर,
हम सच्चे दोस्त, प्यार, परिवार बदल देते हैं!

इसी बदलाव की भीड़ में कुचल के,
कौड़ियों के दाम पर,
सुना है अब तो लोग, भगवान भी बदल देते हैं!

बस खु़दा की रहमत है,
जो नवाज़िश नहीं, हमें ये वरदान!
शुक्र है, जो नहीं मिला,
हमें मात्-पिता बदलने का अधिकार!

वरना तो…
आजकल बदलाव की आंधी है,
फै़ली अधीरता की माहामारी है !
सुना है कि अब लोग,
कपड़ों की तरह, किरदार बदल देते हैं!